Thursday, July 2, 2009

K Workshops


Besides writing, teaching urban psychology and working with marginalized students, I also enjoy doing workshops on topics ranging from general life management to alternative education. Past invitations include Guildford College in Greensboro College, NC and The Graduate Center in NY. The following is a list of workshops I've either done or
are on-going for those interested in having me come speak to their students and participants--

Before You Fly Off - The Workshop: Saving Our Teen Daughters
The New Rite of Passage - Black Girl Power!
English Can Be Fun -- Helping Teens Fight Their Fear of Writing
Educating Urban Youth - When the Curicculum Doesn't Fit
Counseling the African American Male - The Audacity of Not Judging
The New College Advisor - A Different, More Wholistic Approach
The Marginalized College Student - From Identifying to Celebrating
Developing Self-Motivational Skills
Writing the Autobiography - Leaving Your Written Legacy
Prison Bizness - Why Are So Many Black Men in Jail?
Love and Happiness - Developing a Relationship With Yourself First!
Creating Your Job and Finding True Purpose
Despierta! - How Culture Can Affect Academic Performance
Learning How to Better Manage Your Time
Wholistic Wellness - Creating a Positive Environment For Success
Teaching the Young, Gifted and Incarcerated
You Talkin' to Me? - The 411 on Conflict Resolution
Gay Youth - Counseling Them, Counseling Us
Beyond the Bling - Black Male Self-Awareness
Black Masculinities - Hyper-Masculinity in the Black Community
The University Male Center - Challenges, Tools, and Leadership
Trouble Girls - Working With Female Teen Bullies
Single Parenting - Parent Stress/Peer Pressure
Toxic People - The Art of Recognizing and Avoiding
Doing It Your Way - How to Self-Publish Your Book
Doing It Another Way - How to Create, Market and Sell Your T-Shirts
No Rage, No Guilt - The Difficult Process of Addressing Race-ism



K Books
Before You Fly Off-- A Father Offers Advice to His Teenage Daughter
Before You Fly Off-- Volume Two (Released July, 2009)
The Dredlocks Tree-- Prose and Poetry
Throw-- Photos and Words (tba)

Recent Essays
When Dumb Wasn't Cool
Letter to President Obama
Slave Auction/White Boy
Put a Dent in It - A Response to Racial Profiling and Police Bullying
Why All Community Colleges Need a Male Center?
Black Masculinities
Youth Participation in Neighborhood and Community Settings
Monkey Doo
Bang, Bang. I'm Dead!
28 Days and A Mule - The Trouble With Black History Month
What Are You Doing Here? - A Conversation With a Former Rikers Island Student

What's New?
Open Mic Thursdays at Sisters Uptown Bookstore & Cafe 8p

May 22nd Hostos Community College's panel on teen violence, 3-6p

May 17th African American Writers and Publishers Meet at the Lafayette Grill, NYC (2-6p)

April 2nd Supporting writer, Edwidge Danticat's latest project. A film documentary on Haitian women at Medgar Evers College/CUNY 6p

I'm also working on Vol. 2 of my first book, Before You Fly Off. It drew lots of attention, from teachers and youth programs to parents and the younger sistas themselves. The best gift I received from that poject was when a group of fly girls in da hood huddled together just to read the one copy of my book. They were saying things like, 'Why don't they have books like this in school?...I'd show up for class!!...Yep, that's so true!!!...They need to let the boys read this sht too!!!!...


I let go of some good guvament money when I left my phd program. On a mere hunch that I'd be happier writing OUR story instead of somebody else's. But when them girls showed me all that love, I knew I was on my divine path!!!!

People keep asking me what's up with that sequel, so I'm on it! Before You Fly Off - Volume 2 should be out by the next school year. This time around my daughter has a few things to say.

For inquiries, feel free to contact us at Lifejak@aol.com; and thanks again for your interest and support.

Dear Dad (Excerpt from New Book)

Dear Dad,

I know we’ve never met, but I still imagine you being there for me the way I see other fathers being there for their daughters; makes me wonder how it would feel to be pushed on a swing, walked to school, carried on your shoulder or just be held so tightly like I matter. You see, I’m grown up now and my needs have changed from learning how to ride a tricycle to knowing how to drive. Yet I find myself still wishing you were around to help me understand myself and this crazy thing called life. And though you broke up with mom, I just wished you hadn’t broken up with me because it’s not easy for a girl in the hood to grow up without a dad. Boys step to you any ol’ way ‘cause they know you don’t have back-up; and grown men step to you too, many of them fathers themselves, and try to get you into their cars ‘cause they think you’re that desperate for affection. I see it happen every day. Even males in my family try to play me just ‘cause I’m female and nothing’s ever done about it. Seems like no matter how fowl a boy is, he gets away with stuff just ‘cause he’s male while a girl who brings in good grades and stays out of trouble is expected to cater to him. That’s what I mean by this crazy thing called life. There’re so many different sets of rules and I need to understand why. Like I don’t understand how a man can make a baby and never check to see if she’s okay. How does that work? Do you block it out of your mind like it didn’t happen? Help me understand. Whenever you see a dad and his daughter, do you think of me? Or do you wonder at what age she’ll be before she’s ready to date you?

I’m almost done with high school and plan on attending college, thanks to mom and all the troubles she went through to help me get this far without ever a single hand or dollar from you. I don’t know why exactly you and mom split up, and I guess grown-ups have the right to go their own way when they don’t get along anymore. But you could’ve at least tried seeing me, even if she was too angry with you to let you. You could’ve gone to family court and demanded your weekend visits. Kids of divorced and separated parents know the drill now. We’re smart enough to know that mothers can be very spiteful and fathers innocent. But to not even try ‘cause you just don’t want to be bothered with courts and child support? Help me understand.

I’m happy, though. Got lots of friends, and I’m the one most likely to succeed in whatever I put my mind to. ‘Cause not only am I a survivor, I’m a miracle! I wasn’t even supposed to be here, in case you didn’t know that I was born premature. But my grandmother told me that I was making such a fuss inside mom’s belly that the doctor said, ‘This child has important things to do and she’s not waiting any longer!’ And that’s how I got my name. If you even know my name.

Sometimes when I’m quiet and just looking out the window, I wonder what you might look like; if I got your ways, and if you’re somewhere by a window too wondering about me. But I’m not alone. Most of my friends either don’t get along with their dads or never even seen them, so how can I miss out on something so many others don’t have either? But it must be nice to just go about your bizness without a care in the world. Must be cool to go out on a date and never mention me. Must be peachy-king to go around chasing chics who’re old enough to be your daughter. Must be real nice!

Anywho—that’s how I like to say it, by the way. One of my little quirks. Like French fries and mayo, sitting by water, or writing poems. Am I your daughter?

But I’m doing fine without you, considering how challenging my early teens were. It wasn’t the growing pains so much or trying to figure boys out, but deciding who I’m supposed to be with so many different messages I was getting in music videos, at afterschool hangouts and in the school cafeteria. As much as mom tried to teach me the difference between a decent boy and a playa, your loud absence told me that even a good guy can play you. In a way, you did do your part in raising me. So I should thank you for helping me find my way on my own and learning that I’m much stronger than I thought; that the best thing I can do is keep my head up and make the ones who matter proud!

Not yet mailed




"This book was a joy to read and share with others...It should be seriously considered by persons conducting workshops, teaching courses, or providing counseling on [youth] development..."

-- Dr. Alvin Lee Keyes, Clinical Psychologist

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sneakpeak



Though Vol. 1 did and continues to do well, its cover design was just ok. But hey, I was just starting this author thing and at the time I didn't even know what a palm card was!!! But then Morisset came to the rescue. He took the lovely Tania, one of my students who is now on her way to Brooklyn College (congrats again!), and me by water and told us to just talk as we usually do. I ended up being more nervous than her because I'm better behind the cam than in front of it. But our photo man still managed to do his magic and this time around I got what the kids would call a bangin' cover!!! And wait 'til you see the back cover, but that's for later. This is just a sneakpeak at the process. I'm looking at a July release in time for school purchases, while the 2009 Brooklyn Book Festival has already given me a kind nod. Thanks again, Morisset. You're the best!

Friday, June 12, 2009

When Dumb Wasn't Cool...



And remember when dumb wasn't cool? It was the days when Pan-African pride was not only a sign of the times, but just plain good mental health.



You'd walk the 125th Street strip in Harlem and see all the red, black and green; and if that weren't enough to quench your natural thirst you had the mart where there were rented booths that looked more like typical enclaves you would find at any West African market. There was a consciousness back then that pushed for Black solidarity left over from the 70s, innocent of our preoccupation with bling and fluff that was soon to come. We'd say words like peace, my brotha and blessings, my sista, and meant it. It was an exciting period because Malcolm's bright smile and Assata's legendary words--If I hate all Black people, it still won't stop the revolution!--were still cruising the air, while a young music promoter named Sean Combs was just beginning to make a name for himself on The City College campus. Crack, AIDS and gangsta mindset hadn't made their impact on our hoods yet, so Black and Brown children were still smiling. It was a time when Hip Hop was the alternative to Reaganomics--all about self--and not an accomplice, while Run, Jesse, Run! was the latest craze.

But something happened along the way. Black folks began losing their cufis and nat'rals for look-at-me watches and diva wigs. Wearing locks became more of a fashion statement than a politcal one. Greed was now in vogue, followed by Rappers who had plenty to show but nothing to say. Misogyny, too, was making its mark, so much that my six-year-old daughter was banned from watching BET videos. It was a delicate time to be a socially-conscious father, especially when consciousness appeared to be dying. By the time she hit her teen years, the general formula for music videos was flash, cash and half-naked bunnies. Words like cufi, kente, shells, frankincense, and Arrested Development were now taboo. The new cool was flash, ice, weaves, and arrested development! You'd hear young Black males say they were keepin' it real, while Chris Rock's translation was keepin' it real dumb! It placed him on the map for being the Stanley Crouch of comedy. But folks in da hood only got the joke but not the message. They didn't realize he was sounding off the alarm to put the word out that we need to think more critically about ourselves, that our image as a people was in question. In other words, Black America was at a new crossroads. Not just economically and culturally, but fundamentally a war had begun between Blacks and niggaz. Much like the war between gays and queers, but with the added burden of post-slavery psychosis. Because brothas were now dogs; sistas, ho's and a shiny belt buckle was becoming more important than getting a decent gpa. Then Lauryn Hill tried to smack us back into reality by dropping her mic and announcing, I'm done! But ignorance was far too bliss by that time, so we responded by labelling her crazy when all she was trying to do was school us from another angle. Still, dumb got more publicity so she disappeared into reclusion and let Wyclef carry the Fugee banner by himself.

On Saturday mornings I watch the war reach as far as Nigeria when The Africa Channel and BET Africa compete for attention. One pushes culture and ethnic pride while the other pushes the bunnies. It's a contradiction that can confuse your brain cells, if not your sense of Black solidarity. Like seeing a tribe member wear an Obama T-shirt while carrying on like a clown. Makes you wonder where some of us are getting their sustenance. But then it's these same types of contradictions that are being pushed-- dog, pimp, bitch, crib. All of which degrade us as a people yet we defend the right to self-destruct. So while Chuck D back in the days was droppin' knowledge to open up our eyes and minds, now the public enemy was in the mirror, whether we were ready to admit it or not. Some will tell you that calling each other in demeaning ways is merely a form of endearment. But if you take a minute to reflect on that; if you have any African left in you, you can see the psychosis for yourself. Problem is many of us are either too stubborn or too lazy to change our vocab. It's gotten to the point where it's much easier to say nigga than brotha. And walking with a pit bull is still the best crutch to walk with when you don't know who you are, or maybe even afraid to find out.

I was working in a prison when all this was brewing. At the time, getting locked up was still an embarrassment. It wasn't yet a rite of passage for many young Black males, and the police and court officials who exploited the ills. Some blame the prison system for originating sick trends, including young kats wearing their pants low because of the no belt policy behind bars. But in all my years of helping incarcerated brothas reinvent themselves I've never once seen one with his pants so low that it required him to walk like a toddler. Yet today you see young kats--and sadly enough, older ones too-- doin' the toddler so as not to trip and fall, and people don't even flinch over it. They'll give me a fearful, maybe even a disgusted stare whenever I wear my cufi but they won't question self-debasement. It's as if they expect Black males to look dilapidated. And I'm not just talking White folks, I'm talking us. We've become so disentisized by our own demise that it doesn't even phase us when we see our sons looking so grub. As a matter of fact, grub is in, with retailers offering all sorts of shiny new stuff to add to our detriment.

But niggaz don't see it that way. They call it Not givin' a fuk! or keepin' it gangsta to give homage to those Rappers who can't even spell dilapidated, while the rest of the world decides our fate.

So guess what? The City of Dallas, TX has proposed a new ordinance against young men wearing their pants closer to their knees than their waist. Yep, you heard me. They want to make it a crime to look stupid, since we can't figure that sht out on our own! And Louisiana, Georgia and Connecticut are right behind (excuse the pun!). This bizness of waiting for others to do our critical thinking for us has been going on even before we thought jheri curls were cool. And this waiting for a messiah to encourage us to do the obvious has been going on since the first American slave auction. We've become experts in victim mentality but not in coming together, if only for the sake of unity. We don't like unity if it means letting go of dumb trends and picking up instead a book on serious self-reflecting or, God forbid, Black history. Not anymore. We don't listen to what Brotha Crouch keeps trying to tell us. Instead we make fun of his looks as a way of avoiding the work. But how do you avoid something that reveals itself on the faces of our youth and the questionable manner in which they carry themselves? How do you tell a kid that the most gangsta thing he can do is be himself, with so much pressure to stay dumb? What if his self is based on ignorance passed on from one misinformed generation to another, and that he needs trends to help him forget his pains? And what if I don't give a fuk simply means he doesn't expect to see 30?

The answers are hidden within the very thing we've lost respect for-- our old African ways. The same traditions that were ripped from our souls to control our minds. Like how we used to put Shango before paper, the loving way in which fathers would raise their sons, or how my grandmother would squat down to peel potatos. Simple, everyday things that have either become foreign to us or replaced by fast love and fast food. When we lost that, we lost our sons. Because it's not cash that will bring them back but the notion that, though it's nice to have paper, it's in knowing your glory lives in you and not outside of you that's the real money.

Every year a group of Afri-centered folk meet at the Coney Island beach to give honor to the ancestors and those who've recently transitioned. No bufoonery. No self-degradation. No dissension. Just beautiful Black people coming together as one for one sole purpose, and it ain't a Lil Wayne concert! This is the real cool. Our cool. Or do you still want to forget?





































Photos by Ocean Morisset

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Harlem Lost Another Angel



Harlem lost another angel...

Barbara J. Cochran helped so many of us keep our spirits up, including my students who saw her as the ultimate student activities enforcer. Lady B had a knack for telling it like it is without mincing her words, so if you were accustomed to mere formalities


you were in for a rude awakening! Truth is, those of us who earned Barbara's respect knew the softy behind the rough edges. She'd give you the world if it was in her power to do just so; and in speaking with folks who attended her wake--standing room only, by the way--or showed their respect in private like I did by lighting a white candle and sending her off in unition with the words of a reverand who'd never seen so many praisers fill up a funeral home, you would've thought that St. Nicholas Ave was letting Sugar Hill know that sweet popularity is not made of stone!

Each of us carries with them their own story to share sbout B. How they first met her, what they learned from her, how she turned their catastrophe into a minor setback that was soon resolved in a flash of a sec, followed by the usual words-- What else you need?

I first met Barbara when she was helping Streetsmarts--now a grassroots movement still spearheaded by my first son, Logic--organize a campus event. She was no nonsense yet gave us love because of our dedication to the Community. She had never seen an ordinary student club do extraordinary things like helping ex-convicts get into college and addressing the high number of students on academic probation, so needless to say we stood out from the crowd. But it became clear to me that the one who was making the most difference was the Lady herself. And after chipping away at that don't bring me no mess attitude 'til she couldn't stand it any longer, I finally got to see the doting mother in her, as she in turn got to know the street comedian behind my seriousness. From that point on, we had each other's backs. She got my frustration with Black on Black mess and I got why she chose to give CBS News an interview on cancer. I'm that much in love with my people, even when they dis me and she was that much of a champion to offer others who might benefit from her fortitude. The members of People In Action later gave B a plaque for inspiring such humility on and off campus; and, as a kind of award for our own efforts to make a difference, she said though she had received several awards before, ours was the first one that didn't have the word service insribed. We hadn't even considered that until she pointed it out to us. It was a peek at the possibility that perhaps one of Harlem's angels hadn't felt appreciated. But sometimes gratitude and recognition don't reveal themselves until the person's gone. Or what I prefer saying, transitions. Because we don't die, y'all. We simply move on to yet another level of awareness and form.

I'm not even gonna try to pass on to you the kind words I heard the speakers offer. Just know that Barbara leaves us three beautiful children to look after for her and a family that deserves our utmost respect for having given us such a loving, real and forgiving spirit. She was also daddy's little girl. It wouldn't be fair to either of them if I didn't mention this. They say when you move on, a friendly face is there to greet you. I'm betting dad and daughter are now smiling and hugging one another, and then looking at us saying, What else you need?

A special mention to Lady B's best friend too, Mary Gabrielle Lauture who's shown us what loyal friendship looks like. The two eventually made my office their home and I feel blessed to have also witnessed such a bond. I can only offer my sincere condolences to you, as well as to all others who may be missing B's laughter, colorful outfits, sharp mind and the ability to turn kool aid into Thanksgiving!

We will always love you, Barbara.

Sunrise, sunset
1/24/63 - 5/30/09

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Old News Still Good News!



The Borough of Manhattan Community College's Learning Resource Center has added my book in their collection of literary works by CUNY faculty and staff, so kudos to them for supporting local talent!!!

And for those who are just now hearing about my book, Before You Fly Off is a youth and parent guide for inner-city African American female teens from a father's perspective.



Volume 2 of the book is scheduled for release this summer.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Santa Fe


Santa Fe
Keeps telling me to stay
It’s only in my dreams
But here my dreams come true
Feels like home
Even if New York City hustle’s showin' all over my face

Late bloomer,
Always the last to get the plot
But here I’m on top of the games
Feels nat’ral
Even if my no frills instamatic camera gives me away

And I’m riding in my rented beat up truck
Not a single car getting in my way
The endless road seems like it’s kissing at the blue
While turquoise-colored lizards are dancing on my hood
Like they don’t wanna see me go


Black cowboy
Smiling at the sun
And counting on the desert moon to tell me why
I’m itchin' like a rattlesnake
When it’s just my boots playing in the red
Snatching pebbles sent from heaven, if not Albuquerque

Santa Fe
Keeps tugging at my feet
Making up my mind
Cos Times Square doesn’t move me
Subways stress the soul
Highrisers block the sun
And Harlem isn’t mine anymore.
*


*From my next book, Throw.